everyone for your prayers and heartfelt comments regarding this pregnancy. Today I went in for my much anticipated 2nd prenatal appointment for another ultrasound that would be more conclusive. My heart had been racing all day and I felt like throwing up once I got to my Dr's office. My blood test results from the previous week he said looked great and were very hopeful because my hormone levels were exactly where they needed to be. The only thing left was to do the ultrasound. He did the ultrasound and we saw the gestational sac and a bunch of placental tissue, but no baby this time. However, the weird thing is not only were my blood levels great, but I hadn't had any more spotting or bleeding during this past week. Somehow in the past week and a half, the fetus had dissolved. He is suspecting maybe it could be a molar pregnancy (where your uterus just keeps producing placental tissue and your uterus keeps growing, thus telling your body that there is a developing fetus when really there isn't). So more tests are being done today and tomorrow. After discussing the options, my Dr said that the best option by far would be a D&C. So, my D&C is scheduled for Wednesday morning at 5:30 a.m.
I have had a rollercoaster of emotions this afternoon after hearing the news that I had been most afraid of and dreading. I tried and tried to just prepare myself for the worst, but it was so hard. I couldn't help but have even just a small glimmer of hope, especially after he shared my blood test results with me. When I was waiting for the Dr to come in I started panicking really bad and so I had to say a prayer of peace and comfort for myself, no matter the end result. The Lord has answered my prayer and I have felt amazing comfort amidst the sad news. I think one of my all time favorite hymns is quite fitting.
Abide with me, ’tis eventide!
The day is past and gone;
The shadows of the evening fall;
The night is coming on!
Within my heart a welcome Guest,
Within my home abide.
O Savior, stay this night with me;
Behold, ’tis eventide!
O Savior, stay this night with me;
Behold, ’tis eventide!
Thank you again everyone for all your love and kindness.
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24 comments:
Oh Celeste (and Layn), I'm so sorry to hear that news. I really don't know what to say other than, my thoughts and prayers are with you. You may not realize this, but I really have learned a lot form you this past week. I'm sure you have just been on pins and needles about everything, but you have remained so happy and so pleasantly optimistic. I just really admire you for your outlook on life, and for trusting in teh Lord through all of this.
Very beautiful hymn...thank you for sharing.
I tried to call you today. I'll maybe try again tomorrow.
Love you,
Nicole
Your attitude is amazing, stay strong little sister. I know you will pull through like a champ, you are so strong. Love you a lot! More than I ever thought I would growing up ;)
Let me know if there is anything you need or anything that will help.
Celeste, I'm so sorry. If there is anything you need please don't hesitate to ask.
Celeste and Layn I love you so much! I can't imagine all the things you've been going through lately, but I want you to know I'm supportive of you guys and it's hard to be so far away especially at a time like this. Please keep me updated on whatever you need and I'll do all I can.
Celeste I must say I am amazed at your positive outlook on life. It is so easy to get discouraged, but I can see how the Lord is truly working miracles through you. You are so strong and I admire that!
I have been waiting to hear what was going on.....I am so sorry. Words cannot express what I would like to say to you because I have also been down this road. You are very strong and that will get you through. It is wonderful to see the Lord sustaining you and giving you your strength! I am glad you have your family surrounding you to help you out. I could take your baby for you on Wednesday if you like. Let me know!
I am so sorry to hear your loss. I have been praying my guts off for you and hope you know we all love you! I've been there and I know how you're feeling. And, pretty much we have the same comfort hymn because that is my all time favorite hymn, and is one that helped me get through my miscarriage and other tough times. I hope recovery goes well and if you ever need to chit chat, I'm here! Love ya!
Wow Celeste, I look up to you so much. You are so strong and such a good example to me. I love you and so does your brother. We are both praying for you and Layn and Ty.
Celeste, I am so so sorry to hear about that. You really are such a strong person and it is amazing to me how well you are doing with this. You guys are in my thoughts! You are such an example.
I am so sorry. The same thing (with the molar pregnancy) just happened to my sister. Thank you for sharing something so hard and giving us an example of faith and perspective during something so heartbreaking.
Do you even know how hard it is to write something through tears?
I love you both you know and am always here for you no matter if I am a state away or not. You both are so strong in your love for each other and of family and in your faith I admire the two of you so much. love you always, nanny..
Celeste I'm so sorry to hear your news. I feel for you and love you. If you need anything let us know.
celeste and layn... i'm so sorry to hear this. i've been thinking about you this week and i'm so saddened to hear this news. let me know if there is anything i can do for you. i would love to help you with anything you need.
oh Layn and Celeste! I cried as I read this. I love the peace and comfort of the hymn.
My heart is with you.
Celeste I had tears in my eyes as I read your blog. I am sorry to hear the news. You just need to remember that the Lord has big plans for you and Layn. Please stay positive and hang in there. You both are so awesome and if there is anything Jon and I can do for please don't hesitate to ask.
Celeste, it's Cort. I am really sorry to hear the news. I know with my miscarriages the best condolences were when people just said they were sorry and that we would be in their prayers. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us, and sometimes we don't understand it or know what it is at the time, but we will someday. Take comfort in your beautiful baby boy. We need to get together soon! Also, I have a great doctor if you need a good one. You may also want your OB to check your progesterone levels, you may need supplements. Love you!
I am so sorry. I have been wopndering and praying for you. I am sorry to hear bout your loss, but thankful taht The Lord has been by your side through this.
Celeste, your are a wonderful girl, I look up to you for your faith during this time. We will pray for you and your little family.
Celeste, I've been thinking about/praying for you all week -I don't know why it has to be so hard, but I do know that there is always a plan and it's always more beautiful than you could ever imagine.
Celeste, I am so sorry. I do not understand why bringing children into this world is so incredibly difficult. Thank you for trusting your friends with something so deeply personal, and setting a beautiful, faithful example for us.
You have such an amazing attitude! I couldn't even imagine going through what you have in such a small amount of time. You are a great mom and you will be blessed with more babies, this i am sure of! My thoughts and prayers are with you and Layn and Ty. Stay strong! Love you lots!!!!
Isn't it amazing how an experience like this makes us realize how important and sacred life is!! It makes us realize that some things in life just aren't as important as family. Especially our immediate families i.e. our spouses, kids, parents, and siblings!! In the end, nothing is as important to the Lord as how we treated them. Whether they are different from us or not. We need to show them the pure love of Christ like he shows us. Wouldn't you agree??
OH Celeste, I'm so sorry. That has to be so hard. I'm so glad that you felt comforted during this time. How far along were you?
Okay, I just read and am all caught up on your blog. I'm guessing you were around 15 weeks. I know it's such a bummer, but just remember, Heavenly Father knows what he's doing and maybe your body is just preparing for a good pregnancy. I'll keep you in my prayers! Ty is sooooooo cute. That's funny that he is so naughty some times. He has beautiful brown eyes and I'm thinking we might have to arrange his and Kailee's marriage, lol.
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